Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize