True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
