I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
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