help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
