I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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