Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
