He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Mom said you looked used
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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