ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
