i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
