My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
