Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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