so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
