He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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