Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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