Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
nutella sex= disaster
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
