question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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