Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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