she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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