Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
