I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
