Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
