Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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