Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
