You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
