just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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