So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
