all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You don't make any sense
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