Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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