What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Even my vagina gasped.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize