Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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