I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
