weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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