I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize