But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
