yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
