thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She bit a glass in half.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
