I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
