Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
