I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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