Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
