Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
