Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
