Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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