Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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