no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
