my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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