He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
A bitchslap is in order.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
