hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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