Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
