HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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