I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i already hear my dad disowning me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
