I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
and eventually we just all took our pants off
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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