Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
