Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
