people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
