i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize